Today marks the first day of my thirties. And honestly, I’m feeling pretty great about it. I’ve accomplished a lot, learned a lot, and overall, my life is pretty happy.

I’ve been thinking about this blog post for months. My life has never been easy (is anyone’s?) but it’s taught me some valuable lessons. Here are thirty things I’ve learned, in no particular order.

The true secret of being an adult is no one actually knows what they’re doing, but you get better at faking it.
Cherish your health. It could be gone one day, long before you expect it.
When you find a good doctor, DO NOT LEAVE THEM. Finding a great doctor is harder than you think.
If you’re only voting for president every four years, you’re doing democracy wrong. Local, state, and federal mid-term elections are even more important.
Take that huge risk. Do it. Even if everyone is judging you or you end up hating it, do it anyway.
Be yourself, always. Who you are will change some, but always be authentic in the moment.
Never try to force people to be your friends. Don’t try to fit in. Be unapologetically you, and the ones who like you will find you and stay around.
People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Enjoy them while they’re there.
When a relationship (of any kind) gets toxic, slam that door and lock it up. Life’s too short for that bullshit.
Do cool things in your twenties. Do things that will make great stories. Do stupid shit. Puke outside of a Belizean karaoke bar while your professor holds your purse. Sell all your belongings and buy an RV. Dance by a bonfire at a Renaissance Festival.
Buy a funeral outfit, and keep it in good shape. The older you get, the more people you know die. You don’t want to have to go shopping when you’re grieving.
Take care of your mental health. Get medicine or therapy. Go inpatient, if you have to. Anyone who tells you you don’t need it—well, see #9.
Beer before liquor, never sicker. But also, don’t mix your alcohol.
The secret to learning to love yourself is lying to yourself. Compliment yourself and tell yourself you’re beautiful, kind, loving, worthy even when you don’t believe it. Soon, you’ll start to believe it every now and then. Eventually, you’ll believe it most of the time.
There are a few things in life that you should not buy the cheap versions of. Some of these include: blenders, computers, and shoes.
Learn EARLY how to budget.
Take a gap year, and go through school slowly to avoid debt.
Travel extensively. Nothing opens your mind like traveling alone. If you can, study abroad. Travel alone or with a group where you don’t know anyone.
Got a “useless” degree? Just because you don’t use it every day doesn’t mean it is useless. Figure out what lessons you learned in school that have become a part of your identity.
Have sex on the first date, if you want to. Rules are arbitrary and usually grounded in the patriarchy.
Be loud about who you are and what you believe in. You’ll never know how many people will message you and thank you for being outspoken because it helped them come to terms with something.
Justice is more important than kindness.
Treat everyone with dignity.
Trauma will catch up with you. Process it as soon as you can. Get help.
Be direct in your relationships. Communicate clearly what you’re feeling, what you expect, and what you want. Don’t expect your partner to be a mind reader, and don’t be passive-aggressive or petty.
The partner you want to keep is the one who can make you laugh even when you are feeling miserable. Laughter is what keeps a relationship strong in the dark times. Laugh together often.
Spend more money on your honeymoon than your wedding. The wedding day will be a blur anyway.
The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. (That’s the real phrase behind “blood is thicker than water.”) This means that family is whatever you make it. People who are related to you can be toxic or hurt you. Find your chosen family.
Volunteer. Give your time to making the world a better place. You don’t have to join the Peace Corps or anything. Just find something that you can give a little time to that you care about and enjoy.
Learn to stand up for yourself and others.

~Krystal

30 Lessons I Learned By Age 30